...in my bag. Its like I'm holding on to it on purpose. Am I fearful of letting my vacation go??
Ima need to work on that.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Confession: I could use this as another excuse
So, my apt complex just informed me that if I become a full time student--according to my credits--I will have to move. Are they serious? is it that they wanna hold me down (shakes fist in the air at The Man) or is it that I wasn't aware I lived in Gov't controlled housing and am now getting the squeeze of their limitations and not liking it?
I'm thinking...the latter. Am I ever gonna finish my degree? It kinda defeats the purpose of using it as a backup plan if you don't really ever have it *looks left/right*. Its not that I don't want to. I do. I really do. I've always wanted to complete my degree and pledge in an alumni chapter of my favorite sorority. It just doesn't look like it'll be any time soon, espECIALLY if i keep living here.
Sigh. I will finish. Soon.
I will.
I'm thinking...the latter. Am I ever gonna finish my degree? It kinda defeats the purpose of using it as a backup plan if you don't really ever have it *looks left/right*. Its not that I don't want to. I do. I really do. I've always wanted to complete my degree and pledge in an alumni chapter of my favorite sorority. It just doesn't look like it'll be any time soon, espECIALLY if i keep living here.
Sigh. I will finish. Soon.
I will.
happy new year!
this wont be a long post, i just wanted to stop in and say happy new year to everyone. For some reason, I'm really diligent with blogging when i'm...happy. But, when i have a lot of stuff going on emotionally--and subsequently have a lot of crap just sitting up in my brain that actually NEEDS to be released--I can't. It is SO WEIRD! Sometimes, i actually take out my little notepad and just write down things I want to blog about, just so it can stop swimming around in my head. For instance, my son's father's other son was taken by his mother just before Christmas...and hasn't returned yet. I have some strong thoughts on that, and it made me feel a certain kinda way because I love that little boy like he's my own...but I also have some feelings about that special visit from karma that my son's father received. Yet, I'm avoiding it.
I have some very special feelings about a certain photographer--TWO of them, actually--who is refusing to work with me again because of a misunderstanding that happened almost 4 months ago. And another photographer who shot my very first self-keyed photo shoot...and still has yet to return the photos, claiming that he "can't get to them because he's bogged down with paying gigs."
lately, I've had some feelings about the dynamics of some of my friendships and how they've changed, or are changing, and how it's affecting me, in positive and negative ways. And still, avoidance. And i have the time. I'm just not doing it. When I spoke to one of my girlfriends about it, she said that it happens to all of us. No real explanation for anyone, it just happens. But, if I want to be serious about blogging consistently, I just have to be disciplined. Make the time, and do it. Period.
Is it that I don't feel I have anything to say? DOUBT THAT. Is it that I'm afraid of being judged on what I think? Again, DOUBT IT. Perhaps its that I'm.....afraid of something? Not ready yet? LOL, I know this is such a mindless and useless ramble of a post, but please bear with me. Or, rather, maybe you wanna just skip this one. Cuz it doesn't get any better, lol. I have so much excitement for my upcoming year, more than ever. I'm turning 30 in 2 weeks, its a brand new year, i have A MILLION and 1 things going on so there's tons to talk about...so why am I so quiet? Maybe I'm just not ready to share. and yet, everyday, when I list all the blogs i've written in my mind over and over, I promise myself I will hop online and at least WRITE THEM DOWN even if I don't publish them just yet. but, no. nope. Nerp. I just think about them constantly, but never even get to it. On purpose.
Sigh.
WTF?
My bad for the mindless chatter...I at least wanted to post something, to remind myself that this blog still exists, lol. and that I have a responsibility to it, that I have dreams and goals for it, that I must attend to it as I would a child, or a pet, or a plant...so that it doesn't wither away and become one of those things I start but never finish. So, here's my post for today: I have no post.
Yes. Sometimes I am weird and random. We will learn to deal with it together.
:-)
I have some very special feelings about a certain photographer--TWO of them, actually--who is refusing to work with me again because of a misunderstanding that happened almost 4 months ago. And another photographer who shot my very first self-keyed photo shoot...and still has yet to return the photos, claiming that he "can't get to them because he's bogged down with paying gigs."
lately, I've had some feelings about the dynamics of some of my friendships and how they've changed, or are changing, and how it's affecting me, in positive and negative ways. And still, avoidance. And i have the time. I'm just not doing it. When I spoke to one of my girlfriends about it, she said that it happens to all of us. No real explanation for anyone, it just happens. But, if I want to be serious about blogging consistently, I just have to be disciplined. Make the time, and do it. Period.
Is it that I don't feel I have anything to say? DOUBT THAT. Is it that I'm afraid of being judged on what I think? Again, DOUBT IT. Perhaps its that I'm.....afraid of something? Not ready yet? LOL, I know this is such a mindless and useless ramble of a post, but please bear with me. Or, rather, maybe you wanna just skip this one. Cuz it doesn't get any better, lol. I have so much excitement for my upcoming year, more than ever. I'm turning 30 in 2 weeks, its a brand new year, i have A MILLION and 1 things going on so there's tons to talk about...so why am I so quiet? Maybe I'm just not ready to share. and yet, everyday, when I list all the blogs i've written in my mind over and over, I promise myself I will hop online and at least WRITE THEM DOWN even if I don't publish them just yet. but, no. nope. Nerp. I just think about them constantly, but never even get to it. On purpose.
Sigh.
WTF?
My bad for the mindless chatter...I at least wanted to post something, to remind myself that this blog still exists, lol. and that I have a responsibility to it, that I have dreams and goals for it, that I must attend to it as I would a child, or a pet, or a plant...so that it doesn't wither away and become one of those things I start but never finish. So, here's my post for today: I have no post.
Yes. Sometimes I am weird and random. We will learn to deal with it together.
:-)
Confession: My apt's rental office...
...is on my next to last nerve! Uggggghhhhhhh!
A little background:
Last month, knowing I was about to pay my final month's rent for last year's lease (June 2009-May 2010), I held off on paying the rent on the 1st because I'd been overpaying my rent by a dollar each month, and J**** (the then-manager) said that I should have a credit on my account because I'd overpaid by $1 each month. At the time, she was swamped and didn't have time to check for it. So, instead of me just subtracting that $12 from my rent check, I waited to confirm that with her or another manager. No one else in the office was ever available to confirm this info.
At some point between the time I spoke with J**** and the time i actually went in to pay the rent, J**** was FIRED. When I went in to pay, a LA (leasing agent) said that she had NO CLUE what J**** was talking about, and there was no credit. I mention to her that, clearly, she can see I've overpaid my rent by $1 each and every month so...where did that $12 go? "I'm not sure... but it's not here." Ok. Fine. So, how much is the rent? She says "$146." What? I'm sorry...what? In their system, they have my final month's rent as $146. Knowing this is clearly incorrect, I ask to have it investigated. After some searching, they discover that the PROPERTY MANAGER has applied someone else's rent check to my rental account. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat????!!!!!And you still have YOUR JOB???????? You playin with peoples' money like THAT?? IN THIS ECONOMY??!!!
So, at this point the correct rent is late, and has incurred a late fee. I paid the rent amount but wanted to wait and see if the credit would be found before paying the late fee. I was assured by the LA that she would check to see where the credit was and I could pay the late fee when I returned from vacation in a few days.
When I returned from vacation, not only was my credit still missing but my late fee (normally $50) was now $62. I'm sorry....wha? So, I went and got a money order for $50 and dropped it off. No one said anything else about it. It's important to mention that because my lease was ending, I was required to fill out a lease renewal packet which included a Student status verification form. When I turned in this packet--specifically this form explaining my full time student status-- I was told I would have to move because the property "doesn't allow full time students to live here." Again...I'm sorry...WHAT?
Luckily, before i even had time to panic, I found out from the school that all my classes had automatically been DROPPED anyway because my financial aid wasn't processed because I filled out the 10-11 school year form instead of the 09-10 school year form. Great. Just...great.
June 1st approaches and I hadn't heard from the office that my lease had been renewed and was ready to sign. So, I didn't pay the rent. June 2nd arrived. I called the office but the lease still wasn't ready. They were waiting on "official notification from the school" that I wasn't a full time student. I asked the new girl, J***** "if the new lease isn't ready to sign before the 5th and the rent isn't paid, will there be a late fee?" She put the phone down, asked the LA, I CLEARLY heard the LA say "no, she should be fine", and J***** repeated these words to me. So, I went on about my business.
TODAY, June 8th, i walk out of my apt and there's a notice to 'pay $1138 or vacate' stuck in my doorknocker. Ahahahahahahaha! What??!!! After taking yesterday off work to get over the last leg of my sinus infection and see a doctor, I am now late for work because I have to go to the rental office and sort this mess out.
I place the notice on her desk and say "what is this??" She says "Oh, have you paid your rent yet?"
"no, of course not. My lease isn't ready to be signed." "Oh, that doesn't matter. you still have to pay your rent." "Absolutely not! Why would I ever pay you a thousand dollars for an apt I haven't signed a lease for? It's still in renewal processing so if that doesn't go well, and I have to move out, I KNOW I won't get my money back!" She says "Well are you ready to sign it now?" *growl* "Yes, i am ready, you moron!. i've been waiting to hear back from YOU to let me know when it is ready! Weren't you waiting to hear back from the school??" "Well, you said you dropped all your classes, right? if you'll just sign here stating as much, you can sign your new lease." Really. Really? so, is this the "official notification" you've been waiting on from the school? *deep sigh*
I remind her that I should not have to pay a late fee for this month when I called and was told I wouldn't have to. I explained the day I called and spoke with J*** and what had been said. Since J**** was sitting right next to us, the LA asks J*** "do you remember this?" J**** remembers, and explains exactly what I'd already said, VERBATIM. the LA says "no, i don't remember that. I thought you were asking if you still had to pay your rent if your lease wasn't ready...and I said yes, you do still have to pay your rent."
Actually, NO. No you didn't think that...and no you didn't say that....because I didn't ask you that. My question was very very specific, and included nothing about paying rent without the lease being ready. I would never say that because I would never do that. I wouldn't ask a question about something that has no possibility of ever happening. Again, I would never ever EVER pay money for something I haven't signed for, NOT FOR THESE APARTMENTS, so I know for a fact I didn't ask about paying rent + late fees before signing a lease. So she claims she'll have to wait until the property manager comes in to discuss it with her, and see if she will remove the late fee. She can discuss whatever she'd like with whomever she'd like to discuss it with. *shrug* I'm paying $1,019 for my rent, and not a penny more. I asked her where the rest of that 1138 originated, and of course, she didn't know. She claims there's a 50 late fee for this month, and other fees she mumbled under her breath and punched into the calculator...but they only equaled up to $1076. Then why does the notice say 1138? There's an extra $62. Apparently, from last month. Because apparently, they have, again, lost another money order, the one i paid for last month's late fee.
I cannot get out of this apt FAST.ENOUGH.TO.SAVE.MY.OWN.LIFE.
A little background:
Last month, knowing I was about to pay my final month's rent for last year's lease (June 2009-May 2010), I held off on paying the rent on the 1st because I'd been overpaying my rent by a dollar each month, and J**** (the then-manager) said that I should have a credit on my account because I'd overpaid by $1 each month. At the time, she was swamped and didn't have time to check for it. So, instead of me just subtracting that $12 from my rent check, I waited to confirm that with her or another manager. No one else in the office was ever available to confirm this info.
At some point between the time I spoke with J**** and the time i actually went in to pay the rent, J**** was FIRED. When I went in to pay, a LA (leasing agent) said that she had NO CLUE what J**** was talking about, and there was no credit. I mention to her that, clearly, she can see I've overpaid my rent by $1 each and every month so...where did that $12 go? "I'm not sure... but it's not here." Ok. Fine. So, how much is the rent? She says "$146." What? I'm sorry...what? In their system, they have my final month's rent as $146. Knowing this is clearly incorrect, I ask to have it investigated. After some searching, they discover that the PROPERTY MANAGER has applied someone else's rent check to my rental account. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat????!!!!!
So, at this point the correct rent is late, and has incurred a late fee. I paid the rent amount but wanted to wait and see if the credit would be found before paying the late fee. I was assured by the LA that she would check to see where the credit was and I could pay the late fee when I returned from vacation in a few days.
When I returned from vacation, not only was my credit still missing but my late fee (normally $50) was now $62. I'm sorry....wha? So, I went and got a money order for $50 and dropped it off. No one said anything else about it. It's important to mention that because my lease was ending, I was required to fill out a lease renewal packet which included a Student status verification form. When I turned in this packet--specifically this form explaining my full time student status-- I was told I would have to move because the property "doesn't allow full time students to live here." Again...I'm sorry...WHAT?
Luckily, before i even had time to panic, I found out from the school that all my classes had automatically been DROPPED anyway because my financial aid wasn't processed because I filled out the 10-11 school year form instead of the 09-10 school year form. Great. Just...great.
June 1st approaches and I hadn't heard from the office that my lease had been renewed and was ready to sign. So, I didn't pay the rent. June 2nd arrived. I called the office but the lease still wasn't ready. They were waiting on "official notification from the school" that I wasn't a full time student. I asked the new girl, J***** "if the new lease isn't ready to sign before the 5th and the rent isn't paid, will there be a late fee?" She put the phone down, asked the LA, I CLEARLY heard the LA say "no, she should be fine", and J***** repeated these words to me. So, I went on about my business.
TODAY, June 8th, i walk out of my apt and there's a notice to 'pay $1138 or vacate' stuck in my doorknocker. Ahahahahahahaha! What??!!! After taking yesterday off work to get over the last leg of my sinus infection and see a doctor, I am now late for work because I have to go to the rental office and sort this mess out.
I place the notice on her desk and say "what is this??" She says "Oh, have you paid your rent yet?"
"no, of course not. My lease isn't ready to be signed." "Oh, that doesn't matter. you still have to pay your rent." "Absolutely not! Why would I ever pay you a thousand dollars for an apt I haven't signed a lease for? It's still in renewal processing so if that doesn't go well, and I have to move out, I KNOW I won't get my money back!" She says "Well are you ready to sign it now?" *growl* "Yes, i am ready, you moron!. i've been waiting to hear back from YOU to let me know when it is ready! Weren't you waiting to hear back from the school??" "Well, you said you dropped all your classes, right? if you'll just sign here stating as much, you can sign your new lease." Really. Really? so, is this the "official notification" you've been waiting on from the school? *deep sigh*
I remind her that I should not have to pay a late fee for this month when I called and was told I wouldn't have to. I explained the day I called and spoke with J*** and what had been said. Since J**** was sitting right next to us, the LA asks J*** "do you remember this?" J**** remembers, and explains exactly what I'd already said, VERBATIM. the LA says "no, i don't remember that. I thought you were asking if you still had to pay your rent if your lease wasn't ready...and I said yes, you do still have to pay your rent."
Actually, NO. No you didn't think that...and no you didn't say that....because I didn't ask you that. My question was very very specific, and included nothing about paying rent without the lease being ready. I would never say that because I would never do that. I wouldn't ask a question about something that has no possibility of ever happening. Again, I would never ever EVER pay money for something I haven't signed for, NOT FOR THESE APARTMENTS, so I know for a fact I didn't ask about paying rent + late fees before signing a lease. So she claims she'll have to wait until the property manager comes in to discuss it with her, and see if she will remove the late fee. She can discuss whatever she'd like with whomever she'd like to discuss it with. *shrug* I'm paying $1,019 for my rent, and not a penny more. I asked her where the rest of that 1138 originated, and of course, she didn't know. She claims there's a 50 late fee for this month, and other fees she mumbled under her breath and punched into the calculator...but they only equaled up to $1076. Then why does the notice say 1138? There's an extra $62. Apparently, from last month. Because apparently, they have, again, lost another money order, the one i paid for last month's late fee.
I cannot get out of this apt FAST.ENOUGH.TO.SAVE.MY.OWN.LIFE.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Just in Time
Ahhhh, *Justin. How I swooned over your mohawk and baby pink ribbed sweater that hugged your 2 pack abs and lumpy-mashed-potato pecs oh so right.
Am I a glutton for punishment? Not only did I agree to meet Justin in public, but for dinner AND a movie no less! To be fair, he does look just like his POF pictures. I guess maybe I thought I could live with how his pictures looked. They didn't look bad. But to see it materialized in person...was a bit unsettling. First of all, I arrived late. No surprise there. Second, he arrived late. an hour and 15 minutes late. But I waited for him. Surprise surprise. Only because our dinner table would take about an hour to be available so there was no point in being angry that he was late, lol. Besides, I swoon at the mere mention of Bang Bang Shrimp and mashed potatoes from Bonefish Grill so there was no option to go elsewhere. I happily waited.
Once he arrived, and i saw that he was, indeed, wearing a very very tight version of his little brother's ribbed baby pink zippered cardigan sweater thingy, I was a bit alarmed. His profile said he was 5'10". He was 5'8", IF THAT. *eye roll* Why n*ggas got ta lie?? I'm 5'8.5" (and yes, bitches, that .5" counts) and my profile very clearly stated that anyone under 5'10" need not apply. Of course, I wore heels so that first "hey, how are you doing?" hug was pretty awkward. *small eyes*
He regaled me with tales of his world travels over drinks and appetizers. I laughed, sometimes. But, I tell ya, I couldn't stop staring at his pecs. They were HUGE! AND LUMPY! it was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. However, the more strawberry martinis I drank, the more acceptable those pecs became. I'm tellin you, dude...I saw dude's nipples thru his sweater. That's how tight that shit was. No bull. And he had these really broad shoulders and no neck, like a bodybuilder...but he was short, with a mohawk AND a diamond stud in each ear...so to see him walk was NOT something I could do with out giggling after all those martinis. *hangs head in shame* He was preparing to have knee surgery in a few days and was getting all of his partying in before then, so he wanted to really paint the town burgundy that night. I'd agreed to dinner and a movie, that's it. So, after dinner, we got tickets to see the most boring end-of-the-world movie ever made a.k.a. 2012. i don't know how we made it through. I think I was so distracted by that damn pink sweater AND the ribbed texture of it, i totally forgot how much I hate John Cusack's acting, and never watch his movies.
I was trapped. At one point during the movie, this fool turns to me and says "do you have any chapstick?" I say "No, I'm sorry hon, all I have is lip gloss", chuckling. And he says 'ok, that'll do." And holds out his hand.
***I'm sorry, what Sir??**
Dude. So serious. I've never seen a more serious face on a man in all my days of living. So, I handed him my lip gloss. *shrug* I think at this point it became crystal clear to both of us (read: my dumb ass) that the 'date' was over and we were just two people hanging out, chattin, and watching a boring ass movie. Now, in defense of my own blonde hair, I can honestly say i wasn't at ALL under the impression that I'd ever take seriously a man who wore a baby sized baby pink ribbed sweater on a 'first date', not as a love interest. So, while I wasn't surprised that he wore lip gloss, I was surprised that he ASKED to wear MINE. Like, out loud. In REAL LIFE.
The rest of the night went really well actually. We had more fun after that incident than we'd had the whole night. We spent the rest of the movie trying to snatch each other's phones away so the other couldn't text somebody else out of boredom, lol. "I Know you not texting nobody while I"m sitting right here! Hmph. Then lemme go head and text somebody too!" Oh, the antics. We got "shhhhhh!!!"'d, and "shut up!!!"'d for giggling too much and making too much noise, lol, but we didn't leave til it ended. After, it was so late and I was so tired I couldn't do anything else. He wanted to hang some more but I just couldn't. He was really cool, and I'm glad I got to meet him. He was a really interesting person to talk to, and talking to him made me realize how truly small and uninteresting my life is. Or rather, I now realize how much more interesting I want to be as the person sitting on the other side of the dinner table, talking about themself.
Am I a glutton for punishment? Not only did I agree to meet Justin in public, but for dinner AND a movie no less! To be fair, he does look just like his POF pictures. I guess maybe I thought I could live with how his pictures looked. They didn't look bad. But to see it materialized in person...was a bit unsettling. First of all, I arrived late. No surprise there. Second, he arrived late. an hour and 15 minutes late. But I waited for him. Surprise surprise. Only because our dinner table would take about an hour to be available so there was no point in being angry that he was late, lol. Besides, I swoon at the mere mention of Bang Bang Shrimp and mashed potatoes from Bonefish Grill so there was no option to go elsewhere. I happily waited.
Once he arrived, and i saw that he was, indeed, wearing a very very tight version of his little brother's ribbed baby pink zippered cardigan sweater thingy, I was a bit alarmed. His profile said he was 5'10". He was 5'8", IF THAT. *eye roll* Why n*ggas got ta lie?? I'm 5'8.5" (and yes, bitches, that .5" counts) and my profile very clearly stated that anyone under 5'10" need not apply. Of course, I wore heels so that first "hey, how are you doing?" hug was pretty awkward. *small eyes*
He regaled me with tales of his world travels over drinks and appetizers. I laughed, sometimes. But, I tell ya, I couldn't stop staring at his pecs. They were HUGE! AND LUMPY! it was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. However, the more strawberry martinis I drank, the more acceptable those pecs became. I'm tellin you, dude...I saw dude's nipples thru his sweater. That's how tight that shit was. No bull. And he had these really broad shoulders and no neck, like a bodybuilder...but he was short, with a mohawk AND a diamond stud in each ear...so to see him walk was NOT something I could do with out giggling after all those martinis. *hangs head in shame* He was preparing to have knee surgery in a few days and was getting all of his partying in before then, so he wanted to really paint the town burgundy that night. I'd agreed to dinner and a movie, that's it. So, after dinner, we got tickets to see the most boring end-of-the-world movie ever made a.k.a. 2012. i don't know how we made it through. I think I was so distracted by that damn pink sweater AND the ribbed texture of it, i totally forgot how much I hate John Cusack's acting, and never watch his movies.
I was trapped. At one point during the movie, this fool turns to me and says "do you have any chapstick?" I say "No, I'm sorry hon, all I have is lip gloss", chuckling. And he says 'ok, that'll do." And holds out his hand.
***I'm sorry, what Sir??**
Dude. So serious. I've never seen a more serious face on a man in all my days of living. So, I handed him my lip gloss. *shrug* I think at this point it became crystal clear to both of us (read: my dumb ass) that the 'date' was over and we were just two people hanging out, chattin, and watching a boring ass movie. Now, in defense of my own blonde hair, I can honestly say i wasn't at ALL under the impression that I'd ever take seriously a man who wore a baby sized baby pink ribbed sweater on a 'first date', not as a love interest. So, while I wasn't surprised that he wore lip gloss, I was surprised that he ASKED to wear MINE. Like, out loud. In REAL LIFE.
The rest of the night went really well actually. We had more fun after that incident than we'd had the whole night. We spent the rest of the movie trying to snatch each other's phones away so the other couldn't text somebody else out of boredom, lol. "I Know you not texting nobody while I"m sitting right here! Hmph. Then lemme go head and text somebody too!" Oh, the antics. We got "shhhhhh!!!"'d, and "shut up!!!"'d for giggling too much and making too much noise, lol, but we didn't leave til it ended. After, it was so late and I was so tired I couldn't do anything else. He wanted to hang some more but I just couldn't. He was really cool, and I'm glad I got to meet him. He was a really interesting person to talk to, and talking to him made me realize how truly small and uninteresting my life is. Or rather, I now realize how much more interesting I want to be as the person sitting on the other side of the dinner table, talking about themself.
Greg Not So Nice
You should know that I am not the type to wait for a guy to find me, either on POF or otherwise. If/when I see an attractive guy's profile pic, I read over the profile, check his stats, and if it seems like an okay package, I usually send him a message. Typically, the messages say something funny or snarky or sarcastic in response to something I've read in their profile. If the guy responds, then that lets me know he doesn't mind my smart ass mouth, lol (which is important). If I read a person's profile, and there are a bunch of misspelled words, missing words, or typos, i immediately leave the page no matter how cute the person is. If it seems like the person is trying too hard to be funny or cool in the profile, that's an I'LL PASS too. Admittedly, my standards get higher and higher each day so when i run across a profile that I'm drawn to, it is almost impossible for me to pass it by. Which brings me to *Greg.
Because I'm going back in time to tell these tales, some of the details are a little fuzzy. I can't remember if I met Greg by sending him a message first, or if he sent me one first. Either way, we ended up playing POF email tag as usual. Unlike the others, with Greg, it took off really fast. The turnaround time for POF emails for me is usually about 1-2 days but with him, he was ON IT! No sooner than I'd send them, he'd reply immediately, each time. Greg was a talker, and I loved that. He was smart, articulate, witty, funny, LIGHT SKINNEDEDED, tall (6'3"), and he had beautiful teeth. (ting!) He didn't have any children, but came from a big family and eventually wanted a couple of his own kids (which for me is a no-no cuz I'ont want no more damn kids). He was self employed, really into boxing, and had a knack for working with computer hardware. I wasn't too thrilled that he lived in Oxon Hill--not because I have a problem with Oxon Hill but because my ex who I once loved enough to hate lived in Oxon Hill so there's a bad memory attached to that area--but he was originally from uptown (NW,DC--again, just like my hated ex) so I gave him a pass. LOL.
Greg and I met and hit it off from the start. He was a smart mouthed fireball just like me and we had the most interesting debates and discussions. I loved every minute of it, lol. As we got to know each other more, it became clear that we were digging each other...but were both cautious and trying not to rush things. Because we met during the heavy snowstorms of 2009/2010, we didn't really get a chance to hang out much. Between work, school, Isayah, boxing practice, and the damn snow, it was just impossible. So, we relied on talking, texting, and video chatting. *sighing, remembering those beautiful teeth*
After a few weeks, I noticed Greg began to distance himself. When I'd ask, he'd say that nothing was wrong he was just in 'the zone', which was cool and understandable. We didn't get to talk much now that he was in the zone, but since we were facebook friends, I was always updated on his goingsons (and yes, that's a word Kakuna). More and more, he would call and text less until whole days would go by without a word from him...but he was always on facebook.
One day, after I hadn't heard from him in a bout a week, I ventured back to the POF site. I hadn't been on there since he and I had begun talking earnestly, so i was surprised to see that he was signed in too. *hmmm.....* Now, don't get me wrong. I completely understand that he may have been still keeping his options open and talking to other chicks. No problem. But...what happened to me? Did he suddenly change his mind and opt not to clue me in? maybe I missed the memo. I went back and read over our texts, looking for some sign that he'd lost interest; maybe I'd overlooked something. Nope. I didn't see anything unusual, except the dates when he texted had begun to space out significantly. :-( i was very confused.
One night in particular, i got stuck in the snow driving home from my grandmother's house and I called him to see if he could come 'rescue' me so I wouldn't be stranded. When he answered, his tone was COMPLETELY flat and uninterested. *wide eyes* Still confused, i kept asking if everything was okay, which seemed to annoy him. When he asked what I was up to, i told him my car had stalled in the snow, and *jokingly* cried out for his help (oh, the drama)...to which he responded "um, nah, i'm kinda busy right now. there's an x-box tournament goin on right now, and I'm winning." I wasn't entirely sure if he was joking or not, so I kinda laughed...and so did he...then he hung up. Eventually, i made my way home, and promptly deleted him from my facebook friends list. The following Monday, I got a text asking how I was, how was my day, etc...I responded with maybe 3 dry ass words, and eventually the texts stopped.
That same day, i met another guy on POF named *Justin. We chatted for a few days and agreed to meet for dinner and a movie the upcoming weekend. During that date, I got a call from Greg which I sent to voicemail. He left a message, and I called back once I left the theater. LOL, we both ran around the bush about 1000 times before finally discussing what had happened. Apparently, he'd been having some personal issues and didn't feel like being bothered. He felt that I was being too needy by wanting to continue our daily communication, and should not have a problem with letting him have his space whenever he wanted it. i agreed, but thought it would've been nice if he'd let me know he needed space instead of assuming I would know, especially since I hadn't done anything to cause him to avoid me. He thought I should've just taken the hint. LOL. Bwahahaha! AND he thought I was being petty by deleting him as a facebook friend. It showed that I was "not mature, too 'in my feelings', and way too clingy", which was laughable. His perception was that I was expecting him to 'sweat me' and 'be all up on me' like 'other bamma ass n*ggas on POF' but 'he ain't that dude' so I basically needed to leave him alone since my expectations were unreal. Personally, i feel that if we're talking every day, multiple times a day, because we BOTH want to, and one of us just stops suddenly without warning or explanation...that's a red flag and, yes, cause for confusion. But again, i've proven time and again that I am not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to some things...so it could just be me. His last words were "so yeah, I'ma make this my goodbye." Click. *bursts into laughter*
Damn, he was cute too. *smh*
If it wasn't so daggone funny, I would have been offended. My girlfriend Stevie and I had a seriously good time laughing about it over drinks, though.
Because I'm going back in time to tell these tales, some of the details are a little fuzzy. I can't remember if I met Greg by sending him a message first, or if he sent me one first. Either way, we ended up playing POF email tag as usual. Unlike the others, with Greg, it took off really fast. The turnaround time for POF emails for me is usually about 1-2 days but with him, he was ON IT! No sooner than I'd send them, he'd reply immediately, each time. Greg was a talker, and I loved that. He was smart, articulate, witty, funny, LIGHT SKINNEDEDED, tall (6'3"), and he had beautiful teeth. (ting!) He didn't have any children, but came from a big family and eventually wanted a couple of his own kids (which for me is a no-no cuz I'ont want no more damn kids). He was self employed, really into boxing, and had a knack for working with computer hardware. I wasn't too thrilled that he lived in Oxon Hill--not because I have a problem with Oxon Hill but because my ex who I once loved enough to hate lived in Oxon Hill so there's a bad memory attached to that area--but he was originally from uptown (NW,DC--again, just like my hated ex) so I gave him a pass. LOL.
Greg and I met and hit it off from the start. He was a smart mouthed fireball just like me and we had the most interesting debates and discussions. I loved every minute of it, lol. As we got to know each other more, it became clear that we were digging each other...but were both cautious and trying not to rush things. Because we met during the heavy snowstorms of 2009/2010, we didn't really get a chance to hang out much. Between work, school, Isayah, boxing practice, and the damn snow, it was just impossible. So, we relied on talking, texting, and video chatting. *sighing, remembering those beautiful teeth*
After a few weeks, I noticed Greg began to distance himself. When I'd ask, he'd say that nothing was wrong he was just in 'the zone', which was cool and understandable. We didn't get to talk much now that he was in the zone, but since we were facebook friends, I was always updated on his goingsons (and yes, that's a word Kakuna). More and more, he would call and text less until whole days would go by without a word from him...but he was always on facebook.
One day, after I hadn't heard from him in a bout a week, I ventured back to the POF site. I hadn't been on there since he and I had begun talking earnestly, so i was surprised to see that he was signed in too. *hmmm.....* Now, don't get me wrong. I completely understand that he may have been still keeping his options open and talking to other chicks. No problem. But...what happened to me? Did he suddenly change his mind and opt not to clue me in? maybe I missed the memo. I went back and read over our texts, looking for some sign that he'd lost interest; maybe I'd overlooked something. Nope. I didn't see anything unusual, except the dates when he texted had begun to space out significantly. :-( i was very confused.
One night in particular, i got stuck in the snow driving home from my grandmother's house and I called him to see if he could come 'rescue' me so I wouldn't be stranded. When he answered, his tone was COMPLETELY flat and uninterested. *wide eyes* Still confused, i kept asking if everything was okay, which seemed to annoy him. When he asked what I was up to, i told him my car had stalled in the snow, and *jokingly* cried out for his help (oh, the drama)...to which he responded "um, nah, i'm kinda busy right now. there's an x-box tournament goin on right now, and I'm winning." I wasn't entirely sure if he was joking or not, so I kinda laughed...and so did he...then he hung up. Eventually, i made my way home, and promptly deleted him from my facebook friends list. The following Monday, I got a text asking how I was, how was my day, etc...I responded with maybe 3 dry ass words, and eventually the texts stopped.
That same day, i met another guy on POF named *Justin. We chatted for a few days and agreed to meet for dinner and a movie the upcoming weekend. During that date, I got a call from Greg which I sent to voicemail. He left a message, and I called back once I left the theater. LOL, we both ran around the bush about 1000 times before finally discussing what had happened. Apparently, he'd been having some personal issues and didn't feel like being bothered. He felt that I was being too needy by wanting to continue our daily communication, and should not have a problem with letting him have his space whenever he wanted it. i agreed, but thought it would've been nice if he'd let me know he needed space instead of assuming I would know, especially since I hadn't done anything to cause him to avoid me. He thought I should've just taken the hint. LOL. Bwahahaha! AND he thought I was being petty by deleting him as a facebook friend. It showed that I was "not mature, too 'in my feelings', and way too clingy", which was laughable. His perception was that I was expecting him to 'sweat me' and 'be all up on me' like 'other bamma ass n*ggas on POF' but 'he ain't that dude' so I basically needed to leave him alone since my expectations were unreal. Personally, i feel that if we're talking every day, multiple times a day, because we BOTH want to, and one of us just stops suddenly without warning or explanation...that's a red flag and, yes, cause for confusion. But again, i've proven time and again that I am not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to some things...so it could just be me. His last words were "so yeah, I'ma make this my goodbye." Click. *bursts into laughter*
Damn, he was cute too. *smh*
If it wasn't so daggone funny, I would have been offended. My girlfriend Stevie and I had a seriously good time laughing about it over drinks, though.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Really Brandon? o_O
It has been a loooooong time since I've posted about my misadventures on POF! I'm so sorry for the delay; I think I had to put POF on the back burner because it was too out of control and I couldn't deal.
Anyway, here's the update:
As most of you know, I met a guy who I'll call *Brandon a few months back. He seemed very cool initially. Open, funny, graduated from VA State University (which should've been my first red flag, but I digress), and owned his own home here in DC. We spent hours and hours just talking and getting to know one another and I found that I thoroughly enjoyed his conversation. He has kids (a girl, and a boy who actually isn't his but his ex's that he voluntarily raises as his own though they are no longer together.) so we ended up sharing alot of our parenting woes and joys during our talks. When it came time to meet, I was very nervous, thinking perhaps he'd tricked me, and would look nothing like his picture. He actually looked exactly like his picture, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. After a few weeks, some things began to feel..."off" about Brandon. I would notice inconsistencies in some of the stories he'd tell me, or he'd make plans, then break them, though the plans were his idea. When I'd ask him about this, he'd say things like "Yeah, I'm a big ball of contradictions most of the time...you just never know with me." Wait...What? What bothered me was that he seemed proud of it. Like....being a constant contradiction was an asset. *blinks* Ooook. Whatever.
One random Sunday he called, very upset that his son had chipped his tooth during a game of basketball. his FRONT tooth. He seemed INCREDIBLY embarrassed about it, and couldn't wait to get to the dentist the next day to get it repaired. He ended up coming over later that evening and it didn't look so bad.
After the dentist's visit, he was told he couldn't simply get the tooth repaired but would need an implant (which means the entire tooth would have to be pulled). However, the implant couldn't be performed for another 5-6 days so he'd have to walk around missing that tooth for a while. He threw a damn tantrum about that hole every.single.day and I too couldn't wait for him to have the surgery. The day of the surgery arrived and after a bunch of long conversations with the dentist, he ended up not getting the implant. They were making him wait longer....and he was PISSED. I was too because I thought "wait...am I still expected to go out with him with his teeth looking like that??" *blink. blink* http://www.notagoodlook.com/
So, instead of going out, I invited him over for dinner and a movie a few nights later. LOL, I seriously made him sit and watch The Notebook (loves it!) and at the end, i could tell his punk ass was tearing up and trying to hold it back. I clowned him MERCILESSLY about that isht! After the movie, we sat on the couch and talked and eventually, we kissed. He wasn't a bad kisser at all. At some point, I got up to go to my bedroom, and after a few minutes, he followed me in (but to his credit, he did yell for permission to enter before he came in). So, we're sitting on the bed, and there's more kissing...and he tries to lean me back...and I wasn't goin for it. We both kinda laughed about it, and got up to go back into the living room. (For whatever stupid reason that escapes my memory at the moment) I clicked the light off in the bedroom as we exited, but turned the corner to grab a blanket and a scarf from my linen closet ...and as I stroll past the bedroom door again....I see his shadow, standing just inside the bedroom door. But he wasn't saying anything. He was just standing there...verrrrry very still...and he was doing something with his hand. (I'm cracking up as I recount this story, but at the time, I was H.E.A.T.E.D)
I say "uh, Brandon...?WTF are you doing? And why aren't you saying anything??" He says "Man, A, you got me so turned on...those lips...mmm...I gotta take care of myself before I explode...*grunt/moan*" (I don't know why but I am CRACKING UP at this now. It's really not funny, cuz dude could've really been psychotic and dangerous and it would've been all my fault. I think it's just the grossness of the fact that this actually happened to me, IN REAL LIFE.)
He is actually, TRULY, in REAL LIFE, standing in my bedroom, in the dark, stroking himself. Without a word.
Really? Really, Sir? I have no words.
The closest thing that I could grab in the dark was, like, a shoe, and a clothes hanger. And it was with those two items that I tried to decapitate and maim him, all the way to and out of my front door. Oddly, though, that wasn't my first response. Initially, I thought "if this were an episode of CSI/Criminal Minds/The Craigslist Killer, what could I do differently than the bitch that gets murked at the end?" So, I backed out of the room very slowly at first, speaking in hushed tones until he was out in the living room and close to the door. And THEN I tried to decapitate him. There was a lot of screaming and cursing and swinging. And apologizing (on his part).
The crazy, weird thing was that I didn't feel threatened or in danger...just creeped out that he felt _________ (whatever it was he felt) enough to do something so intimate and personal, so randomly, IN MY BEDROOM IN THE DARK. it was so gross. I can laugh about it now, but its still really creepy.
I didn't talk to him for a long time after that. He called but I didn't answer. Then, one day he called and left a vm saying that he needed to talk to me, that it was important. So, I called back. He asked if we could meet (in a public place) to talk. After much persuasion, I agreed. It was so awkward and uncomfortable being around him again. And at that point, I was so not into him anymore that I immediately noticed things about him that I'd probably overlooked before. Like how his stomach hung over his belt when he walked. Like how dirty his finger nails are AND how they're all long, like a pimp's pinky nail. We ended up going to brunch, and he explained to me that his mom had just been (basically) evicted from her condo. Her landlord hadn't been paying the mortgage and the condo had gone into foreclosure but the landlord hadn't said a WORD. His mom found out about it 2 days prior because a potential buyer had come by to view the condo...just showed up at the door like "yeah, uh, I'm here to see the space and measure it for my furniture..." and his mother was like "uh, What the hell are you talking about?" *Can you imagine???*
He was so upset for his mom, but more for himself because his mother was moving in with him now that she had no place to live. Though he was a dick, I did feel bad for him so I chose not to bring up the trifling isht he'd done last I saw him. I listened, I did my best to sympathize, and we left. The ride home was excruciating. Tension, awkwardness, discomfort. So, to cut it, he began talking. WRONG MOVE. As he spoke, I turned to look at him...and thats when I noticed that he had a rotten tooth on the side of his mouth. I stared straight into it, transfixed; I just couldn't look away. I was undone. Wait...I'm sorry...do you have the NERVE to have rotten teeth ON TOP OF missing a front tooth, Sir? If we were not on 495 and so far from my house on a Sunday when I KNEW no one else would get up to come get me, I'd have bailed out of that Navigator while it was still moving. STRAIGHT tuck and roll. How had I missed all these things about him??? WTF was wrong with me for all those months?? Once we reached my apt, I was so disgusted I could barely even look at him to say goodbye. So I gave that fool a head nod, grabbed my bag and umbrella, and took that long walk back up the hill to my apt. Never again will I agree to meet a guy from POF without seeing pics of him smiling, with ALL his teeth showing, doing a full background check for signs of sexual deviance, and a full neuro scan.
Sigh. That was a bad Sunday. :-(
*Just in case you didn't know, Brandon is not his real name and I changed it to protect his privacy...though I'd like to use his real name to protect some other sister from being subjected to his yuckmouth ass since he clearly doesn't list "poor oral hygiene" on his POF profile.
Anyway, here's the update:
As most of you know, I met a guy who I'll call *Brandon a few months back. He seemed very cool initially. Open, funny, graduated from VA State University (which should've been my first red flag, but I digress), and owned his own home here in DC. We spent hours and hours just talking and getting to know one another and I found that I thoroughly enjoyed his conversation. He has kids (a girl, and a boy who actually isn't his but his ex's that he voluntarily raises as his own though they are no longer together.) so we ended up sharing alot of our parenting woes and joys during our talks. When it came time to meet, I was very nervous, thinking perhaps he'd tricked me, and would look nothing like his picture. He actually looked exactly like his picture, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. After a few weeks, some things began to feel..."off" about Brandon. I would notice inconsistencies in some of the stories he'd tell me, or he'd make plans, then break them, though the plans were his idea. When I'd ask him about this, he'd say things like "Yeah, I'm a big ball of contradictions most of the time...you just never know with me." Wait...What? What bothered me was that he seemed proud of it. Like....being a constant contradiction was an asset. *blinks* Ooook. Whatever.
One random Sunday he called, very upset that his son had chipped his tooth during a game of basketball. his FRONT tooth. He seemed INCREDIBLY embarrassed about it, and couldn't wait to get to the dentist the next day to get it repaired. He ended up coming over later that evening and it didn't look so bad.
After the dentist's visit, he was told he couldn't simply get the tooth repaired but would need an implant (which means the entire tooth would have to be pulled). However, the implant couldn't be performed for another 5-6 days so he'd have to walk around missing that tooth for a while. He threw a damn tantrum about that hole every.single.day and I too couldn't wait for him to have the surgery. The day of the surgery arrived and after a bunch of long conversations with the dentist, he ended up not getting the implant. They were making him wait longer....and he was PISSED. I was too because I thought "wait...am I still expected to go out with him with his teeth looking like that??" *blink. blink* http://www.notagoodlook.com/
So, instead of going out, I invited him over for dinner and a movie a few nights later. LOL, I seriously made him sit and watch The Notebook (loves it!) and at the end, i could tell his punk ass was tearing up and trying to hold it back. I clowned him MERCILESSLY about that isht! After the movie, we sat on the couch and talked and eventually, we kissed. He wasn't a bad kisser at all. At some point, I got up to go to my bedroom, and after a few minutes, he followed me in (but to his credit, he did yell for permission to enter before he came in). So, we're sitting on the bed, and there's more kissing...and he tries to lean me back...and I wasn't goin for it. We both kinda laughed about it, and got up to go back into the living room. (For whatever stupid reason that escapes my memory at the moment) I clicked the light off in the bedroom as we exited, but turned the corner to grab a blanket and a scarf from my linen closet ...and as I stroll past the bedroom door again....I see his shadow, standing just inside the bedroom door. But he wasn't saying anything. He was just standing there...verrrrry very still...and he was doing something with his hand. (I'm cracking up as I recount this story, but at the time, I was H.E.A.T.E.D)
I say "uh, Brandon...?WTF are you doing? And why aren't you saying anything??" He says "Man, A, you got me so turned on...those lips...mmm...I gotta take care of myself before I explode...*grunt/moan*" (I don't know why but I am CRACKING UP at this now. It's really not funny, cuz dude could've really been psychotic and dangerous and it would've been all my fault. I think it's just the grossness of the fact that this actually happened to me, IN REAL LIFE.)
He is actually, TRULY, in REAL LIFE, standing in my bedroom, in the dark, stroking himself. Without a word.
Really? Really, Sir? I have no words.
The closest thing that I could grab in the dark was, like, a shoe, and a clothes hanger. And it was with those two items that I tried to decapitate and maim him, all the way to and out of my front door. Oddly, though, that wasn't my first response. Initially, I thought "if this were an episode of CSI/Criminal Minds/The Craigslist Killer, what could I do differently than the bitch that gets murked at the end?" So, I backed out of the room very slowly at first, speaking in hushed tones until he was out in the living room and close to the door. And THEN I tried to decapitate him. There was a lot of screaming and cursing and swinging. And apologizing (on his part).
The crazy, weird thing was that I didn't feel threatened or in danger...just creeped out that he felt _________ (whatever it was he felt) enough to do something so intimate and personal, so randomly, IN MY BEDROOM IN THE DARK. it was so gross. I can laugh about it now, but its still really creepy.
I didn't talk to him for a long time after that. He called but I didn't answer. Then, one day he called and left a vm saying that he needed to talk to me, that it was important. So, I called back. He asked if we could meet (in a public place) to talk. After much persuasion, I agreed. It was so awkward and uncomfortable being around him again. And at that point, I was so not into him anymore that I immediately noticed things about him that I'd probably overlooked before. Like how his stomach hung over his belt when he walked. Like how dirty his finger nails are AND how they're all long, like a pimp's pinky nail. We ended up going to brunch, and he explained to me that his mom had just been (basically) evicted from her condo. Her landlord hadn't been paying the mortgage and the condo had gone into foreclosure but the landlord hadn't said a WORD. His mom found out about it 2 days prior because a potential buyer had come by to view the condo...just showed up at the door like "yeah, uh, I'm here to see the space and measure it for my furniture..." and his mother was like "uh, What the hell are you talking about?" *Can you imagine???*
He was so upset for his mom, but more for himself because his mother was moving in with him now that she had no place to live. Though he was a dick, I did feel bad for him so I chose not to bring up the trifling isht he'd done last I saw him. I listened, I did my best to sympathize, and we left. The ride home was excruciating. Tension, awkwardness, discomfort. So, to cut it, he began talking. WRONG MOVE. As he spoke, I turned to look at him...and thats when I noticed that he had a rotten tooth on the side of his mouth. I stared straight into it, transfixed; I just couldn't look away. I was undone. Wait...I'm sorry...do you have the NERVE to have rotten teeth ON TOP OF missing a front tooth, Sir? If we were not on 495 and so far from my house on a Sunday when I KNEW no one else would get up to come get me, I'd have bailed out of that Navigator while it was still moving. STRAIGHT tuck and roll. How had I missed all these things about him??? WTF was wrong with me for all those months?? Once we reached my apt, I was so disgusted I could barely even look at him to say goodbye. So I gave that fool a head nod, grabbed my bag and umbrella, and took that long walk back up the hill to my apt. Never again will I agree to meet a guy from POF without seeing pics of him smiling, with ALL his teeth showing, doing a full background check for signs of sexual deviance, and a full neuro scan.
Sigh. That was a bad Sunday. :-(
*Just in case you didn't know, Brandon is not his real name and I changed it to protect his privacy...though I'd like to use his real name to protect some other sister from being subjected to his yuckmouth ass since he clearly doesn't list "poor oral hygiene" on his POF profile.
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