Houston, we have a problem...

So, remember that gig that I was so boosted about with the lady I'd been working with since early July? The one who wanted the really dramatic look? yeah, CANCELLED. We had her trial, which didn't go exactly as planned for a number of different reasons. She cut her hair, which I was not prepared for *totally and completely my fault. I should've been prepared for her to show up bald. That's the mark of a great artist, i think.*.

Oftentimes, I am so head over heels in love with the idea of giving the bride exactly what she wants, I'm unprepared to let my aggressive lioness take over when it becomes clear that she may actually have no earthly idea what she wants. When we met, I sensed that this particular bride is one who is not strong in making decisions. She tends to waffle back and forth..with most everything. So, during the trial, when i noticed that she needed me to take the upper hand and make decisions for her, I should have done that. Instead, I waffled with her, naive to her signals of "help me decide" and "I just don't know what I want!!", lol. Yeah, I totally missed those. I became Vanessa Bell-Calloway in "Coming To America" (i blew it) with the "it's whatever you like" and "whatever lip color you prefer is what I'll give you". *laughing*

I don't think it's my job to hold your hand, and tell you what makeup you want. You know what you want to look like on your wedding day, there's no way I can tell you if you like your red lip or not. That's why I'm horrible at sales jobs. You either want it or you don't, I'm not gonna sell you on it. You either like it or you don't, ma'am...be an American; make a choice! (i stole that quote from my favorite psych teacher from Varina High School, who also happened to be the varsity baseball coach. shout out to Coach Steele.) That's also why I spend countless hours with brides, going back and forth over various looks and designs. I look at her face, study it's structure, choose what look I THINK will be right for her, send her (first) my suggestions, take (second) her personal preferences, and then she accepts or rejects (third) what she likes and dislikes. We're not curing HIV, but it's still serious enough that I take the time to do it. It's important so we don't waste more time than necessary. But, because this is America, and because being in the service industry--service and beauty, for that matter--I learned a great lesson: sometimes, i WILL have to tell people what they want. And then, I'll have to give it to them.

My inability to read her "waffling" cues, take hold of them, and be firm with her had me at her house for 8.5 hours. Yep. You read it correctly. I bet i won't ignore those damn cues again. Hmph.

Between her hair flop which took two hours and still ended up wrong, her makeup which actually came out great, her sister's makeup, and her mom's makeup (all great as well), I spent my whole day with this great family of women, helping them decide what should be and what would not be her wedding day beauty design.

At the end, I collected my fees, deposits, and contracts, and I left, with the promise that I would see them bright and early the following Saturday morning....exactly 7 days later.

On Tuesday morning, she called to cancel. *gas face*

What went wrong? She assured me that it had nothing to do with my skill level, my professionalism, or anything of that nature. Simply put: her mom has a friend who owns a salon and wanted to contribute. So, she offered to do the bridal party's hair for the wedding, and as a bonus, threw in makeup for free. "But, you already paid your NON-REFUNDABLE deposit! What's happened??" Yeah, doesn't matter...thank you for all your time, though. I feel really bad, but sorry. Thanks. bye!" Of course, it wasn't as cold as that; her apology seemed genuine and heartfelt. But, either way, that's one face I don't get to add to my portfolio. ANOTHER face, it seems, since it's like pulling TEETH trying to get a bride to send you pictures of her after her wedding. I got to keep the money (yay) but i didn't get to do the work. Only problem with that is, i don't work in makeup for the money; I love makeup as my work, and the money comes as a bonus. I love doing makeup, and when I can't, it saddens me. Oh, TRUST AND BELIEVE, i took that check STRAIGHT to Citibank when I left her house, lol, so there was never a question of returning the money. But, the cancellation stung for a day or two. First I was angry. Then I felt hurt, and rejected. But, then, I got over myself and made the choice to not take it personally. The selfish angry bitch in me wanted to wish horrible things for choosing someone else for her wedding makeup, after i'd put in so much time and communication with her. But, the grown and sexy, mature and professional Strong Woman in me went ahead and silenced that little girl, lol.

I'm sure her wedding went fabulously, and I wish her nothing but the very best for her big day, as I do for each and every bride I meet. I haven't spoken with her since that day, and I probably never will. I am still glad, though, to have met her and had this experience as an artist. This is the kind of thing that will happen at some other time in life, on a much larger scale, on a higher level, when i'm working as a pro artist full time; I need to be prepared for such things. there will be plenty of times when, as a freelance artist, a client will reject my prices, reject my services, reject (gulp) my skills, reject my attitude, reject my appearance, reject me directly...for reasons I may or may not agree with. Its the nature of the beast. And today, thanks to my last Saturday bride, I'm ready to strap on my "thanks but lets keep it moving" slingbacks....and walk it out.


Eyes to the skies, loves!

Beautiful Dae

A new quote I found that I love...

Recognize your short comings and learn from your mistakes. It's the only way to move past them. It's not the fall that is so bad, it's failing to get out of the ditch that causes you to be buried.