Tonight, while on the way home from work, I realized that Tae Kwon Do class is done for the week (he goes twice per week) so tonight would be a free night to just chill and relax. So, we went to Chili's and had an excellent dinner together. There was a moment during dinner where we were both laughing and giggling so uncontrollably, that I caught myself taking a mental polaroid of the moment. There are times when I find little pockets of joy in life, and I remind myself to always commit those moments to memory so that when i'm having a not-so-joyful moment in the future, I can reach into my mental rolodex, reference the joyful moment, and go right back to that place.
We stuffed ourselves to capacity at dinner, lol, and drove home. Once home, we started a game of checkers. Throughout the game, he was admittedly making better moves than I was. He wasn't boastful or anything, but he seemed happy. Towards the end, though...once we both got kings...and I started making better moves, he began to sink. His whole demeanor changed, his voice changed. He became fidgety and would not sit still. His movements were causing the board to shake and the pieces to scatter. I warned him twice not to do it again, but he did it one last time and the pieces went everywhere. Time to put the game up. He covers his face oh-so-dramatically and begins to cry. I was APPALLED!! Are you crying?? Like a GIRL??! I had to GO! Then he launches into the funkiest attitude of the year. mumbling under the breath, throwing things, sucking the teeth. I can't stand it!
Is this what I'm heading into for this next year?? I cant do it, y'all. I just can't.
Saturday morning we're having a home visit from Tracy, owner of The Educated Babysitter--a new sitting service I'm considering for him. I have to get a part time job...I just have to. I can't leave him home, so I need to find a sitter. Tracy seems very nice, and qualified. She's coming by saturday morning to meet us both in person, let us meet her, and get a feel for everything. He doesn't want me to get a second job, of course. But, I know that unless I do, we'll always be right here, where we are. I have plans-big plans-plans that don't include sleeping in this shoebox apt in the DMV area and taking orders from Germans all damn day. So I'ma get this thing going.
No sacrifice, no victory <---------- One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, "Transformers".
That's all for today. I'm exhausted. Turning in early, folks.
Remember to make tomorrow a beautiful day :-) Good night, and sleep well.
Love.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Confession: I am not ready!
Somebody get my agent on the phone......because I confess: I didn't sign up for all this shit. Who decided that parenthood would be so...so...so...ALL-CONSUMING??? Can a sista get a break, PLEASE!
My 9 year old is a darling (when he's not workin my last nerve) but when I gave the consent 9 years, 2 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days ago for the nurses to remove their hands that were holding his tiny 4lb 2 months premature head inside of my 19 year old cervix and let me push his little behind out, I had NO CLUE. No clue what an unbelievable gift he would become to my life.
I was-OFFICIALLY-young, gifted, and black.
Today, as a 29 year old single mom living in DC, I have become FULLY aware of that gift, and its impact on my life. In this blog, I will share with you my life as a young, ambitious, empowered single black mother. I am incredibly stubborn and determined to live life on my own terms, to not accept the defeatist attitude that my life is over because I have a child, and to make my dreams come true.
Now don't get me wrong, there are worse things than being a single parent: There's being a crackhead, there's being a prostitute, there's being Chris Brown in 2009. There's being Beyonce's acting partner, there's being the waitress whose job it is to scrape the gum off the underside of the tables, and of course, there's always being George W. Bush. But, being a single mom--correction: being ME as a single mom is...um...challenging.
Most of you mothers, or any women who have children in their lives, know the delicacy and fragility of children. How to raise them to be respectful, to be upstanding young citizens, with confidence, integrity, intelligence, and common sense when it's all up to you with no father in the home? How to show them enough love but not coddle them, how to how to teach them to stand up for themselves, how to make good choices, how to accept them as they are but still encourage them to be the best version of themselves. So far, no one's written the manual so we're all basically on our own. I mean, yeah, there are parenting books GALORE in Borders, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, corner bookstores, everywhere. But, the truth--and the bottom line-- is that your child is unique and specific, with his own personality that he got from you and his dad, his own opinions, his own little slice of this huge pie we call life....and at the end of the day, if he gets it wrong, YOU GOT IT WRONG. I think that there should be a rule that from now on, when babies pop out, there should be a tiny little tube that pops out RIGHT behind their little asses, a tube containing a link where you can find (preferably on www.amazon.com) print or electronic copies of the unique instruction manual for that specific baby. Hey, I mean, its 2009...we have Black President and a bomb ass brown skinned First Lady...anything is possible, right?
Yes We Can.
Right now, I'm in the beginning stages of launching a makeup career in between working a full time 9:30 -5:30 day job, trying to sort out my love life, help my best friend plan her June wedding in which I am the MOH, and come to terms with living estranged from my family. To aid me in this journey, I have my son Isayah, my best friend Reina, my two good friends Victoria* and Chloe* (gotta change their names just in case they don't want their business on front street), my son's father's mother and grandmother who have adopted me as their own, my two cats Simba and Frisket, my mentor Kim, and my life guru Nicole. My son's father is..ahem..away...right now. We don't discuss him much.
Anyway, I won't rattle on too much. I just wanted to give you all an intro to me and my life with my little one...if you'd like, you can feel free to stop by and say hello to us. I'll be posting pictures, videos, and eventually, audio clips. My goal is to share this with the world, to make new friends both parents and non-parents, and to be a big voice among all the voices of other moms like me...moms who don't want to be defined by parenthood, womanhood, singlehood, shoot...ANY one hood. I'm not just a mom, i'm not just a fly single girl, I'm not just a Black woman, and I'm not just a makeup artist. I'm all those things, with many other gifts that I look forward to discovering henceforth.
Good night, everyone. Remember to make tomorrow a Beautiful Day!
Love.
My 9 year old is a darling (when he's not workin my last nerve) but when I gave the consent 9 years, 2 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days ago for the nurses to remove their hands that were holding his tiny 4lb 2 months premature head inside of my 19 year old cervix and let me push his little behind out, I had NO CLUE. No clue what an unbelievable gift he would become to my life.
I was-OFFICIALLY-young, gifted, and black.
Today, as a 29 year old single mom living in DC, I have become FULLY aware of that gift, and its impact on my life. In this blog, I will share with you my life as a young, ambitious, empowered single black mother. I am incredibly stubborn and determined to live life on my own terms, to not accept the defeatist attitude that my life is over because I have a child, and to make my dreams come true.
Now don't get me wrong, there are worse things than being a single parent: There's being a crackhead, there's being a prostitute, there's being Chris Brown in 2009. There's being Beyonce's acting partner, there's being the waitress whose job it is to scrape the gum off the underside of the tables, and of course, there's always being George W. Bush. But, being a single mom--correction: being ME as a single mom is...um...challenging.
Most of you mothers, or any women who have children in their lives, know the delicacy and fragility of children. How to raise them to be respectful, to be upstanding young citizens, with confidence, integrity, intelligence, and common sense when it's all up to you with no father in the home? How to show them enough love but not coddle them, how to how to teach them to stand up for themselves, how to make good choices, how to accept them as they are but still encourage them to be the best version of themselves. So far, no one's written the manual so we're all basically on our own. I mean, yeah, there are parenting books GALORE in Borders, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, corner bookstores, everywhere. But, the truth--and the bottom line-- is that your child is unique and specific, with his own personality that he got from you and his dad, his own opinions, his own little slice of this huge pie we call life....and at the end of the day, if he gets it wrong, YOU GOT IT WRONG. I think that there should be a rule that from now on, when babies pop out, there should be a tiny little tube that pops out RIGHT behind their little asses, a tube containing a link where you can find (preferably on www.amazon.com) print or electronic copies of the unique instruction manual for that specific baby. Hey, I mean, its 2009...we have Black President and a bomb ass brown skinned First Lady...anything is possible, right?
Yes We Can.
Right now, I'm in the beginning stages of launching a makeup career in between working a full time 9:30 -5:30 day job, trying to sort out my love life, help my best friend plan her June wedding in which I am the MOH, and come to terms with living estranged from my family. To aid me in this journey, I have my son Isayah, my best friend Reina, my two good friends Victoria* and Chloe* (gotta change their names just in case they don't want their business on front street), my son's father's mother and grandmother who have adopted me as their own, my two cats Simba and Frisket, my mentor Kim, and my life guru Nicole. My son's father is..ahem..away...right now. We don't discuss him much.
Anyway, I won't rattle on too much. I just wanted to give you all an intro to me and my life with my little one...if you'd like, you can feel free to stop by and say hello to us. I'll be posting pictures, videos, and eventually, audio clips. My goal is to share this with the world, to make new friends both parents and non-parents, and to be a big voice among all the voices of other moms like me...moms who don't want to be defined by parenthood, womanhood, singlehood, shoot...ANY one hood. I'm not just a mom, i'm not just a fly single girl, I'm not just a Black woman, and I'm not just a makeup artist. I'm all those things, with many other gifts that I look forward to discovering henceforth.
Good night, everyone. Remember to make tomorrow a Beautiful Day!
Love.
The Makeup Show NYC
It's getting closer and closer by the day, people! The Makeup Show NYC presented by The Powder Group and Metropolitan Pavilion is THE makeup event of the year. Here, every artist of every discipline of every lipstick shade and eyeshadow hue converges on the Big Apple to stock up on goodies, participate in workshops, drool over the newest must-haves from the freshest vendors, and *if they're anything like me* take a bazillion pictures with fellow artists. This will be my first foray into the land of The Makeup Show, but thank GOD I will not be going alone. Kim, Lisa, and I will be going together.
Since this is my first time going, Kim has ALREADY prepped me on what to expect: many, many makeup orgasms. And can I just say...a sista could use one of those RIGHT ABOUT NOW. Hmph. But, I digress...
Of course, some of my favs are gonna be there: MAC, MUFE, FACE Atelier, Smashbox, Stila, Graftobian, Rouge Makeup, Temptu, and Cinema Secrets...just to name a few. Not to mention my favorite makeup school of all time, MUD (Make Up Designory). Dude! Can I tell you how BOOSTED I am!?? I mean, really! No, REALLY! All those brands, plus, like, 50 more brands at SEVERELY discounted prices. PLUS, workshops taught by some of my all time favorite MUAs, the hottest of THE HOT right now: Billy B (drool), Valente (the king of Tyra's white liner), James Vincent, Orlando Santiago, the list just goes on and on! This here diva can.not.wait. If you think I went crazy the first time i visited New York in January (i'll post pics of that trip later), you have NO IDEA what May is going to be like, for me...during Makeup Week...in NYC.
*hyperventilating*
I almost can't stand it!
Since this is my first time going, Kim has ALREADY prepped me on what to expect: many, many makeup orgasms. And can I just say...a sista could use one of those RIGHT ABOUT NOW. Hmph. But, I digress...
Of course, some of my favs are gonna be there: MAC, MUFE, FACE Atelier, Smashbox, Stila, Graftobian, Rouge Makeup, Temptu, and Cinema Secrets...just to name a few. Not to mention my favorite makeup school of all time, MUD (Make Up Designory). Dude! Can I tell you how BOOSTED I am!?? I mean, really! No, REALLY! All those brands, plus, like, 50 more brands at SEVERELY discounted prices. PLUS, workshops taught by some of my all time favorite MUAs, the hottest of THE HOT right now: Billy B (drool), Valente (the king of Tyra's white liner), James Vincent, Orlando Santiago, the list just goes on and on! This here diva can.not.wait. If you think I went crazy the first time i visited New York in January (i'll post pics of that trip later), you have NO IDEA what May is going to be like, for me...during Makeup Week...in NYC.
*hyperventilating*
I almost can't stand it!
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