Dude. I have no idea how illegal hustlers do it. I consider myself pretty normal, yet I do work alot. I have a very clear idea of what I want my life to look at and the moment I decided to work towards that, i took on a multitude of issues that I wasn't even aware of at the time. I don't think I've ever worked so hard in my life! Imagine what I'd feel like if I had this same drive and ambition but had decided to sell drugs or something else illegal?? Most days, I live in a fog of perpetual exhaustion, lol. Constantly tired and needing rest. What if I hustled this hard and on TOP of all this work, had to always keep looking over my shoulders making sure no one's trying to rob me, kill me, or snitch on me to the cops??? Dead.And.Gone. I wouldn't see nothing coming, lmao! I'd be so damn sleepy and paranoid, I'd make a horrible drug dealer/crime committer (is that a word?).
It is a constant shuffle of day job, makeup gigs, Isayah's activities, administrative tasks, squeezing in a meal every now and then, managing relationships and friendships, driving here and there, managing money and a home life, and making time for family. Oh, and time for myself.
Arrrrrrrgh!!
Thank goodness I got my dad's work ethic so I know how to work. And because I'm always hungry to fulfill my dreams, I'm willing do to almost anything to make sure that happens. Y'all know how I feel about choosing between career and family, lol...I refuse to do it. Therefore, I must do it all, and at the same time. Make no mistake about it, I'm over here looking REAL crazy some days...but it's just like anything else: once you start doing it, it becomes part of your lifestyle so you get used to it.
One of my childhood friends came to visit me for my birthday earlier this year, in February. She hadn't visited me before (we'd only spoken on the phone prior to) so she didn't really have a clear idea of what it meant for me when I told her that my life is "busy". Autumn is definitely my busiest time of year, for sure, but even in February, it's still pretty hectic. And I don't think she was prepared for it all, lol. I'm not laughing at her, just at the situation. I was very glad that she came, but it felt like maybe she wasn't able to keep up. She is one of those ppl who are used to everything being average or slowly paced, doesn't have a very wide margin for errors, hates to be late or for things to go not-as-planned. Now, most of you who know me know that I plan my life in advance; I'm already scheduled up to December 1st. Not just for makeup, but for my life. But, with a life so full, there's bound to be things that go awry: missed appointments, traffic, things being misplaced causing delays, whatever. Being that I'm used to it, I take those hits and I keep right on going; sometimes, I've already moved on from them so fast that I don't even notice they've happened. It's so easy to forget that everyone's not like that.
I'd almost forgotten what it was like for those who live a less than hectic life. I'm sorry. I just don't have the time (literally) to let things shut my whole day down. eeeeeevery now and then, maybe. when I'm so exhausted that I'm running on fumes, it happens. But, for the most part, when a mishap occurs, I have maybe a half hour to rebound before it's time to move on to something else.
My birthday party this year was very carefully planned out. The day of the party, also, was planned perfectly. the execution, however, left alot to be desired.
It began on a HORRIBLE note which created a hair problem...which eventually led to a "now there's no time for makeup" problem. I'd ordered my dress and it was to be delivered early that afternoon. it arrived at 12:02. Check. After that, the only thing left to do was spend the day searching for the perfect shoes. Now, i told her this well in advance. My exact words were "all I have to do is find some shoes for the dress, but it may take a while". We left my apt at 1. We went to every shoe store and mall between my house and DC. By 4pm, we were still empty handed, lol...but she was getting tired and irritable and wanted a nap. I was still going strong because, again, I'm used to long days and running until the job is done. The problem was my shoe size. I wear a size 10W which is very difficult to find; yes, i'd spent hours looking online but to no avail, so store shopping was my only option left. Finally, on the way home around 5:15 we swung by TJ Maxx and struck gold. JACKPOT! We found the perfect shoe, in my size! Dinner was to start at 8pm but it would take us at least 30 minutes to get there and get settled so the leave time was 7:30 of course.
Racing home from Potomac Yards at 5:30, she began to get very quiet. I think she was running out of steam and because it was so late, it was clear to her that there wouldn't be time for a nap. *it's important to note that i don't really remember what, exactly, a nap is. I VAGUELY remember the concept of a nap, but i definitely don't remember having taken one in a very very long time.*
(chuckling) I think it's hilarious how single people with no children still take naps, LOL. It's almost so delirious that it's hilarious.
Anyway, arriving at home at 6:00, I (not her but I) had to then tackle the mess of how to sew my own tracks in, get both my makeup and her makeup done, take a shower, get into the undergarments required for the dress, get into the damn dress itself, make sure all my stuff fit into the backup purse I had to pick out since the clutch I BOUGHT for the party turned up missing on the day of, get the cab here, get there, and get seated all by 8pm...no later than 8:15, or risk losing the reservation. Oh, and don't forget the camera.
Wait......*looking around*.....what?
Now, suffice it to say that I completely understand why any of you non-aquarians whose lives are not as chaotic as mine can say "you know what, alandria, you doin a lil too much right now". I do. Trust, i get it.
however, this is my life. it is always like this, packed to capacity, sometimes running late, but even when its on time, it's still crazy and hectic most days. I'm used to it. Her? Not so much.
The cab was almost 40 minutes late, she used Vaseline to moisturize (don't ask me cuz I have no clue) and (surprise surprise) vaseline bled thru her green dress so there was a huge grease stain on her shoulder and she wanted to wear a black blazer over it. It looked atrocious with the blazer so I asked that she skip it...but she was none to happy about it. lol. Finally, we left at about 8:20 after the cab finally arrived and i'd called ahead to change the reserv time to 9 instead. Oh, and yes, I remembered the camera...but the batteries died. (LMAO!!) So, in the car, we took pictures with her camera and my camera phone. When we arrived, impossibly enough, some of the party guests still weren't there so we had to wait to be seated. A few of them cancelled, or just didn't show up, so the guest list went from about 10...to 5. We got seated, ordered drinks and appetizers, and let the fun begin. At this point, she was only speaking maybe every 15 minutes but I was so thrilled that the night had finally started, I hardly had time to address it. Besides, it was my birthday party!
When the drinks came, the waiter placed her drink down first and, upon leaning over to place my drink, knocked her drink over....into her lap.
Sigh.then...PAUSE.
I know that had it been me, i would have been pissed. I probably would've laughed, then complained about how I have the worst luck in Creation. And probably not 10 minutes later, I'd have been over it and talkin about something else. But, AGAIN, that is just me because I'm used to "shit happens, move on". For her, bless her heart, her night was done. After quietly threatening to smack the hell outta the waiter--all his profuse apologies aside--and having her drink replaced for free, she shut down completely. Not another peep for the rest of the night. *Sad face.*
I felt bad because someone I cared about wasn't having a good time. But I also felt bad because she was making the choice to not have a good time, and for that reason, there was nothing I could do about it. She'd driven hours to come this party, the dress was already stained with both vaseline and alcohol, and we were incredibly late...all true. But, we're here now. The vaseline stain is virtually invisible because it's so dark in the restaurant, the alcohol will be dry by the time dinner is done and dancing starts, and you've already spent money on gas and food to be here to celebrate me turning 29 this year. You can't get any of it back so why not make the best of it? You can either choose to sit and stew, or choose to have a good time regardless because in about an hour, what happened an hour earlier won't even matter, lol.
But, she chose to sit and stew. Not a smile, not a word to anyone at the table, no dancing, nothing for the rest of the night. PPl were starting to give me weird questioning looks, but I chose to ignore them, lol. It had already been a not so great day, but I was choosing not to let anything else ruin it, even someone else's sour mood.
By the time the night ended around 2, I'd forgotten all about the activities of the previous day. all i knew was that I'd chosen to make beautiful an otherwise rotten day, and i'd done that. I had FUN!! It was hard work trying to squeeze everything in, and we missed a deadline or two, but i still had fun. And I was grateful to all my friends just for showing up in my honor, even those who probably preferred to be elsewhere doing something else, lol.
All my days are crazy like that, filled with unexpected twists and turns, sometimes working to the last minute of the day, stretching myself down to the wire. I get why others don't understand it, but I know that they don't have to. it makes perfect sense to me. Karen Alston, a fellow DC Sistagirl, said "good things come to those who hustle while they wait"...and i believe it's true. I'm just like anyone else, I'm waiting for my day to come...but while I'm waiting, I'ma squeeze in every single minute of work, love, laughter, camera time, vaseline and spilled drinks as is humanly possible without killing myself. :-)
There's always a chance to make today a beautiful day,
Beautiful Dae
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