Thursday, May 20, 2010

Greg Not So Nice

You should know that I am not the type to wait for a guy to find me, either on POF or otherwise. If/when I see an attractive guy's profile pic, I read over the profile, check his stats, and if it seems like an okay package, I usually send him a message. Typically, the messages say something funny or snarky or sarcastic in response to something I've read in their profile. If the guy responds, then that lets me know he doesn't mind my smart ass mouth, lol (which is important). If I read a person's profile, and there are a bunch of misspelled words, missing words, or typos, i immediately leave the page no matter how cute the person is. If it seems like the person is trying too hard to be funny or cool in the profile, that's an I'LL PASS too.  Admittedly, my standards get higher and higher each day so when i run across a profile that I'm drawn to, it is almost impossible for me to pass it by. Which brings me to *Greg.


Because I'm going back in time to tell these tales, some of the details are a little fuzzy. I can't remember if I met Greg by sending him a message first, or if he sent me one first. Either way, we ended up playing POF email tag as usual. Unlike the others, with Greg, it took off really fast. The turnaround time for POF emails for me is usually about 1-2 days but with him, he was ON IT! No sooner than I'd send them, he'd reply immediately, each time.  Greg was a talker, and I loved that. He was smart, articulate, witty, funny, LIGHT SKINNEDEDED, tall (6'3"), and he had beautiful teeth. (ting!) He didn't have any children, but came from a big family and eventually wanted a couple of his own kids (which for me is a no-no cuz I'ont want no more damn kids). He was self employed, really into boxing, and had a knack for working with computer hardware.  I wasn't too thrilled that he lived in Oxon Hill--not because I have a problem with Oxon Hill but because my ex who I once loved enough to hate lived in Oxon Hill so there's a bad memory attached to that area--but he was originally from uptown (NW,DC--again, just like my hated ex) so I gave him a pass. LOL.

Greg and I met and hit it off from the start. He was a smart mouthed fireball just like me and we had the most interesting debates and discussions. I loved every minute of it, lol. As we got to know each other more, it became clear that we were digging each other...but were both cautious and trying not to rush things.  Because we met during the heavy snowstorms of 2009/2010, we didn't really get a chance to hang out much.  Between work, school, Isayah, boxing practice, and the damn snow, it was just impossible. So, we relied on talking, texting, and video chatting. *sighing, remembering those beautiful teeth*
After a few weeks, I noticed Greg began to distance himself. When I'd ask, he'd say that nothing was wrong he was just in 'the zone', which was cool and understandable. We didn't get to talk much now that he was in the zone, but since we were facebook friends, I was always updated on his goingsons (and yes, that's a word Kakuna).  More and more, he would call and text less until whole days would go by without a word from him...but he was always on facebook.

One day, after I hadn't heard from him in a bout a week, I ventured back to the POF site. I hadn't been on there since he and I had begun talking earnestly, so i was surprised to see that he was signed in too. *hmmm.....* Now, don't get me wrong. I completely understand that he may have been still keeping his options open and talking to other chicks. No problem. But...what happened to me? Did he suddenly change his mind and opt not to clue me in? maybe I missed the memo. I went back and read over our texts, looking for some sign that he'd lost interest; maybe I'd overlooked something. Nope. I didn't see anything unusual, except the dates when he texted had begun to space out significantly. :-( i was very confused. 

One night in particular, i got stuck in the snow driving home from my grandmother's house and I called him to see if he could come 'rescue' me so I wouldn't be stranded. When he answered, his tone was COMPLETELY flat and uninterested. *wide eyes* Still confused, i kept asking if everything was okay, which seemed to annoy him. When he asked what I was up to, i told him my car had stalled in the snow, and *jokingly* cried out for his help (oh, the drama)...to which he responded "um, nah, i'm kinda busy right now. there's an x-box tournament goin on right now, and I'm winning." I wasn't entirely sure if he was joking or not, so I kinda laughed...and so did he...then he hung up.  Eventually, i made my way home, and promptly deleted him from my facebook friends list. The following Monday, I got a text asking how I was, how was my day, etc...I responded with maybe 3 dry ass words, and eventually the texts stopped.

That same day, i met another guy on POF named *Justin. We chatted for a few days and agreed to meet for dinner and a movie the upcoming weekend. During that date, I got a call from Greg which I sent to voicemail. He left a message, and I called back once I left the theater. LOL, we both ran around the bush about 1000 times before finally discussing what had happened. Apparently, he'd been having some personal issues and didn't feel like being bothered.  He felt that I was being too needy by wanting to continue our daily communication, and should not have a problem with letting him have his space whenever he wanted it.  i agreed, but thought it would've been nice if he'd let me know he needed space instead of assuming I would know, especially since I hadn't done anything to cause him to avoid me. He thought I should've just taken the hint. LOL. Bwahahaha! AND he thought I was being petty by deleting him as a facebook friend. It showed that I was "not mature, too 'in my feelings', and way too clingy", which was laughable. His perception was that I was expecting him to 'sweat me' and 'be all up on me' like 'other bamma ass n*ggas on POF' but 'he ain't that dude' so I basically needed to leave him alone since my expectations were unreal. Personally, i feel that if we're talking every day, multiple times a day, because we BOTH want to, and one of us just stops suddenly without warning or explanation...that's a red flag and, yes, cause for confusion. But again, i've proven time and again that I am not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to some things...so it could just be me.  His last words were "so yeah, I'ma make this my goodbye." Click. *bursts into laughter*

Damn, he was cute too. *smh*

If it wasn't so daggone funny, I would have been offended.  My girlfriend Stevie and I had a seriously good time laughing about it over drinks, though.

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