Just in Time

Ahhhh, *Justin. How I swooned over your mohawk and baby pink ribbed sweater that hugged your 2 pack abs and lumpy-mashed-potato pecs oh so right.

Am I a glutton for punishment? Not only did I agree to meet Justin in public, but for dinner AND a movie no less! To be fair, he does look just like his POF pictures.  I guess maybe I thought I could live with how his pictures looked. They didn't look bad. But to see it materialized in person...was a bit unsettling. First of all, I arrived late. No surprise there. Second, he arrived late. an hour and 15 minutes late. But I waited for him. Surprise surprise. Only because our dinner table would take about an hour to be available so there was no point in being angry that he was late, lol. Besides, I swoon at the mere mention of Bang Bang Shrimp and mashed potatoes from Bonefish Grill so there was no option to go elsewhere. I happily waited.

Once he arrived, and i saw that he was, indeed, wearing a very very tight version of his little brother's ribbed baby pink zippered cardigan sweater thingy, I was a bit alarmed. His profile said he was 5'10". He was 5'8", IF THAT. *eye roll* Why n*ggas got ta lie?? I'm 5'8.5" (and yes, bitches, that .5" counts) and my profile very clearly stated that anyone under 5'10" need not apply. Of course, I wore heels so that first "hey, how are you doing?" hug was pretty awkward. *small eyes*

He regaled me with tales of his world travels over drinks and appetizers. I laughed, sometimes. But, I tell ya, I couldn't stop staring at his pecs. They were HUGE! AND LUMPY! it was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. However, the more strawberry martinis I drank, the more acceptable those pecs became. I'm tellin you, dude...I saw dude's nipples thru his sweater. That's how tight that shit was. No bull. And he had these really broad shoulders and no neck, like a bodybuilder...but he was short, with a mohawk AND a diamond stud in each ear...so to see him walk was NOT something I could do with out giggling after all those martinis. *hangs head in shame* He was preparing to have knee surgery in a few days and was getting all of his partying in before then, so he wanted to really paint the town burgundy that night. I'd agreed to dinner and a movie, that's it. So, after dinner, we got tickets to see the most boring end-of-the-world movie ever made a.k.a. 2012.  i don't know how we made it through. I think I was so distracted by that damn pink sweater AND the ribbed texture of it, i totally forgot how much I hate John Cusack's acting, and never watch his movies.

I was trapped. At one point during the movie, this fool turns to me and says "do you have any chapstick?" I say "No, I'm sorry hon, all I have is lip gloss", chuckling. And he says 'ok, that'll do." And holds out his hand.

***I'm sorry, what Sir??**

Dude. So serious. I've never seen a more serious face on a man in all my days of living. So, I handed him my lip gloss. *shrug* I think at this point it became crystal clear to both of us (read: my dumb ass) that the 'date' was over and we were just two people hanging out, chattin, and watching a boring ass movie. Now, in defense of my own blonde hair, I can honestly say i wasn't at ALL under the impression that I'd ever take seriously a man who wore a baby sized baby pink ribbed sweater on a 'first date', not as a love interest. So, while I wasn't surprised that he wore lip gloss, I was surprised that he ASKED to wear MINE. Like, out loud. In REAL LIFE.

The rest of the night went really well actually. We had more fun after that incident than we'd had the whole night. We spent the rest of the movie trying to snatch each other's phones away so the other couldn't text somebody else out of boredom, lol. "I Know you not texting nobody while I"m sitting right here! Hmph. Then lemme go head and text somebody too!" Oh, the antics. We got "shhhhhh!!!"'d, and "shut up!!!"'d for giggling too much and making too much noise, lol, but we didn't leave til it ended. After, it was so late and I was so tired I couldn't do anything else. He wanted to hang some more but I just couldn't. He was really cool, and I'm glad I got to meet him. He was a really interesting person to talk to, and talking to him made me realize how truly small and uninteresting my life is.  Or rather, I now realize how much more interesting I want to be as the person sitting on the other side of the dinner table, talking about themself.