They grow up SO fast...

Next Thursday, Dec. 9, my son turns 11. If you've ever met me in person, We're at
about eye to mouth, and I'm 5'8.5". He turns 11 on Thursday, lol. They
really do grow up so fast! I asked him tonight "how was school today?"
This is what I got:

I: it was aight. Ooo! There was a fight in the cafeteria today!

Me: Oh lawd, were u in it?!

I: uh, heeccck no!! You know I'ont be gettin in fights no more.
Psshhht! I'ont play dem games. Ma. My birthday is THURSDAY! CHRISTMAS
IS IN 3 WEEKS!! U think I'm tryna lose my birthday party OR my xmas
gifts?!!? U must got me confused with some other almost-11-year-old.
Hmph. PLUS, I aint tryna knock nobody out! You KNOW I got da guns and
errythang ..aheh heh *pimp laugh*  (insert the deepest eye roll ever)
Nah, but fa real, in my school, if u get into a fight and knock
someone out or draw blood, you can get expelled.
So, nope, I'll pass. Let them other lil ignants get kicked outta
school; they obviously not doin nothing with their lives anyway. I
could get kicked off the track team, football team, no more karate, no
more allowance! I can't lose my allowance! I gotta stay fresh for da
LAY-DEEZ. U know how EYE do. They be ON ME, ma. On.me. I tease'em a
lil bit, throw 'em a lil jokey joke, flash some teeth, then I'm OUT!
They be like 'where he go??' They think they got me, but I be shakin
'em!! Can't do that in Timbs that look like I been walkin the
Underground railroad. Nah son, not me!"

Me: Sigh. Jeezus. Please give me strength.

These are the kinds of conversations I have with my child. I'm almost
positive he gets it from his father. I do have to say, though, I am very proud that he sees the benefits
of good behavior and I no longer have to point them out to him. So he WAS listening...hmmmm.

Remind me of how proud of  him I am and how cute he is later on when he does something stupid and I wanna crack his skull to the white meat. PaTY.