A Throwback from last year...I found this sitting in my drafts folder. *sigh* Put away your judgy eyes!!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Necessity: The Mother of Invention
For years, I've hated buying and wearing shoes. Y'all know I grew up on a
farm in rural North Carolina so, most of the time, I didn't wear shoes.
Or a shirt. One more than the other, but I almost never wore shoes.
There are theories that suggest that not wearing shoes
(consistently) during your formative years causes arches in the foot to form oddly or,
in my case, not at all. My feet have absolutely no arch (well, it's
there, but it's been fallen my entire life so it may as well not be
there for all the damn good it's doing me), they're wide and thick like
Luke Dancers, and while my toes are long (like my dad's) they're fat
(like my mom's) so it's hard to squeeze my feet into wrong-sized shoes
and still make it through the day like every other normal warm-blooded
American woman.
This led to a lifetime of shopping at Payless where almost all the medium sizes come in a corresponding Wide size. And that was fine until I decided I was too good to buy every single pair of my adult shoes from the same store where they sell fake Timberlands with, instead of the little timberland tree in the logo, the little branch in the logo. Just the...one...branch....*looks around*. Payless was no longer the move. Insert a lot of shoe shopping with my girlfriends, already understanding that I would only be sitting idly by while they revel in strappy sandals and I'll-Kill-a-Ni**a-For-These peep toe pumps. Yep. My friends with their stupid ass "oooh GURL!!"s and "aaaawww"s and "yaaaaassssss, I'm gettin' these for TONIGHT!''s. There was a lot of that.
But wasn't nobody jealous, though. That was fine. Whatever. *eye roll*
Here began my search for wide width shoes. And this was also where that search promptly ended. Even though I was able to find WW shoes, somehow, some way, they still didn't fit properly. Google became my friend. I googled everything I could possibly find on beautiful, sexy shoes for wide feet. I found all kindsa shit: wide, double wide, triple wide. Every size up to 15. I even found a site for people with two disproportionately sized feet who had to buy one shoe in, say, a size 6 and the other in a 6 1/2 or a 7. I PROMISE you I had no idea this shit existed; I'm glad I found it though. It sort of set off a train of thought in my mind that has led me to a really great hobby. I decided to have my feet measured professionally. I'd always assumed my shoe size, based on my mother's since we'd always worn the same or the same sized shoes, was a 9.5. When I could no longer fit hers, I knew it was time to talk to a professional.
Imagine my surprise when, during my measuring 'session', the shoe salesman looks up at me in shock and says "Wow. Um, I've never seen this before. This foot is a size 9.5D" (WTF??!!) "but this other one is a 9 3/4EE. I wouldn't even know where to tell you to go and find shoes. Sorry."
I'm sorry, sir. A What? A size WUTT?
-_________________________-
You wanna see somebody MADDD??? I couldn't believe it! It explained why NO SHOES ever fit my feet properly, why even the wide widths were either too tight or too loose. It certainly made me relieved that my actual shoe size isn't 11, which is what I've been wearing, albeit uncomfortably. No offense to those who wear a size 11, but the kinda shoes I like to wear look HORRIBLE in size 11, on my feet. Sorry. They do.
What was I supposed to do?? I couldn't knowingly continue to buy the wrong sizes but I don't think I need to tell you what my efforts in Googling "women's shoes size 9 3/4EE" returned. I was pissed. I looked at Torrid, Lane Bryant, and Ashley Stewart (which is, by the way, my go to for beautiful dresses that fit perfectly because they actually carry a size 12W that fits my body perfectly) and it seemed that, yet again, Mother Nature (#thathorridbitch) had given me the finger in yet another very important area of my life.
*sigh*
WTF would I do now? I'd run outta options.
I think you'll be surprised to find out....
This led to a lifetime of shopping at Payless where almost all the medium sizes come in a corresponding Wide size. And that was fine until I decided I was too good to buy every single pair of my adult shoes from the same store where they sell fake Timberlands with, instead of the little timberland tree in the logo, the little branch in the logo. Just the...one...branch....*looks around*. Payless was no longer the move. Insert a lot of shoe shopping with my girlfriends, already understanding that I would only be sitting idly by while they revel in strappy sandals and I'll-Kill-a-Ni**a-For-These peep toe pumps. Yep. My friends with their stupid ass "oooh GURL!!"s and "aaaawww"s and "yaaaaassssss, I'm gettin' these for TONIGHT!''s. There was a lot of that.
But wasn't nobody jealous, though. That was fine. Whatever. *eye roll*
Here began my search for wide width shoes. And this was also where that search promptly ended. Even though I was able to find WW shoes, somehow, some way, they still didn't fit properly. Google became my friend. I googled everything I could possibly find on beautiful, sexy shoes for wide feet. I found all kindsa shit: wide, double wide, triple wide. Every size up to 15. I even found a site for people with two disproportionately sized feet who had to buy one shoe in, say, a size 6 and the other in a 6 1/2 or a 7. I PROMISE you I had no idea this shit existed; I'm glad I found it though. It sort of set off a train of thought in my mind that has led me to a really great hobby. I decided to have my feet measured professionally. I'd always assumed my shoe size, based on my mother's since we'd always worn the same or the same sized shoes, was a 9.5. When I could no longer fit hers, I knew it was time to talk to a professional.
Imagine my surprise when, during my measuring 'session', the shoe salesman looks up at me in shock and says "Wow. Um, I've never seen this before. This foot is a size 9.5D" (WTF??!!) "but this other one is a 9 3/4EE. I wouldn't even know where to tell you to go and find shoes. Sorry."
I'm sorry, sir. A What? A size WUTT?
-_________________________-
You wanna see somebody MADDD??? I couldn't believe it! It explained why NO SHOES ever fit my feet properly, why even the wide widths were either too tight or too loose. It certainly made me relieved that my actual shoe size isn't 11, which is what I've been wearing, albeit uncomfortably. No offense to those who wear a size 11, but the kinda shoes I like to wear look HORRIBLE in size 11, on my feet. Sorry. They do.
What was I supposed to do?? I couldn't knowingly continue to buy the wrong sizes but I don't think I need to tell you what my efforts in Googling "women's shoes size 9 3/4EE" returned. I was pissed. I looked at Torrid, Lane Bryant, and Ashley Stewart (which is, by the way, my go to for beautiful dresses that fit perfectly because they actually carry a size 12W that fits my body perfectly) and it seemed that, yet again, Mother Nature (#thathorridbitch) had given me the finger in yet another very important area of my life.
*sigh*
WTF would I do now? I'd run outta options.
I think you'll be surprised to find out....
What did you do? I have a wide foot too. Please share. Buying shoes online are not wise cause they will almost always NOT fit.
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